Yeah, somehow I am tired. Your probably thinking, "You've gotta be kidding. It's 6 in the morning." Not physically, just that life feels a bit tiring, just a bit. It's been a rather lonely week that's all. I'm glad that we have a 24-hour hotline with God, it'd be terrible without, I probably would be depressed by now.
Maybe the problem is with me. I'm not really that good at mixing with people. I don't know why......I really don't...... Do I talk too much I wonder? Again I'm glad for the 24-hour hotline, because really there is no one else more willing to listen. I read a quote in the newspaper,"There is nothing else more boring than listening to someone's dreams except listening to someone's problems." It's not verbatim mind you but the gist of the message is there.
Don't worry about me. I've got an anchor in the storm, it's just that I'm currently below water level. I'll resurface for air soon. Really! Because no matter how much I rant about me and my problems, I can almost picture Him smiling gently, kindly and thinking, "Complain all you want, I'll listen, but wait until you see the great thing I have planned for you." Makes you feel warm doesn't it?
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Dreams
You dream. You spin your fancies. How many will be spoiled, I wonder? How many robbed of their luster?
Dreams like drops of rose. Fancies spun in rainbow colours. Like the gossamer wings of butterflies. Colourful, ephemeral, fragile. It's so easy to destroy someone's dreams, to kill it in fledgling stage, to nip it in the bud. Teenagers and above are more resistant to this kind of murder but what about children? So many times, some well meaning person, who has forgotten their own childhood, who genuinely wishes that those dear children be not deceive, ends up killing a bit of their dreams. Dreams like drops of rose. Fancies spun in rainbow colours. Like the gossamer wings of butterflies. Colourful, ephemeral, fragile.
Someone should mark them. Put a warning label. Because well meaning people kill dreams. Sometimes we forget that others are humans like us, we do things to people that we won't want to do to ourselves. We not only destroy dreams, we destroy self esteem, we destroy lives; all with our tongue.
You dream. You spin your fancies. Some will be fulfilled, others will die. Your fancies of elves and fairies. Of worlds filled with sunshine and rainbows. Of adventure and excitement might not come true, but you don't regret. Life would be too empty without any dreams. So you continue to spin and turn your world into a realm of beauty.
PS: Jesus loves you. Did you know? That at least is not a dream. So smile!
Dreams like drops of rose. Fancies spun in rainbow colours. Like the gossamer wings of butterflies. Colourful, ephemeral, fragile. It's so easy to destroy someone's dreams, to kill it in fledgling stage, to nip it in the bud. Teenagers and above are more resistant to this kind of murder but what about children? So many times, some well meaning person, who has forgotten their own childhood, who genuinely wishes that those dear children be not deceive, ends up killing a bit of their dreams. Dreams like drops of rose. Fancies spun in rainbow colours. Like the gossamer wings of butterflies. Colourful, ephemeral, fragile.
Someone should mark them. Put a warning label. Because well meaning people kill dreams. Sometimes we forget that others are humans like us, we do things to people that we won't want to do to ourselves. We not only destroy dreams, we destroy self esteem, we destroy lives; all with our tongue.
You dream. You spin your fancies. Some will be fulfilled, others will die. Your fancies of elves and fairies. Of worlds filled with sunshine and rainbows. Of adventure and excitement might not come true, but you don't regret. Life would be too empty without any dreams. So you continue to spin and turn your world into a realm of beauty.
PS: Jesus loves you. Did you know? That at least is not a dream. So smile!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Random Musing on: Loss
Loss. Ever occurred to you? Ever felt that strange melancholy feeling when something is lost? Why, I wonder? Why does it feel so when we've lost? Why do we feel extra happy when we've somehow got it back? Why do we not know until we've lost it, then we feel the regret, why?
It's true isn't it? We never really notice until its gone. Yes, gone, lost to us. We take things, people, everything for granted. We even take oxygen for granted! Until, until we're out of breath, to the point of suffocation. Yes, we notice it then, notice how important it is to us, how we literally cannot live without it.
They say you never really miss the water until it's gone, and by then, it's too late. We're foolish like that. Never knowing, never noticing, until its too late. Too late to change anything no matter how much we want to. The water has gone, it's beyond our reach, it is not the same anymore because technically the water isn't the same anymore. Confusing isn't it? Water is still water, you say, no matter how it flows. Ah, flow......yes...............that's the key word. Water flows, it's never in the same place. Take it this way, that drop of H2o that just passed you has really passed you and is flowing into the sea. Notice drop, it never stays the same.
Time, we treat it the same. We waste it, we don't know until its gone. Air, water, the earth beneath our feet, yes, we forget them until we lose them. People, oh, we are guilty of taking them for granted. Yes, I plead guilty too. I plead guilty to ignoring people, not appreciating them, thinking they will always be there. When really, it's not true. They won't be there forever. They will move, miles and miles away, or I will move. There are many ways to be separated.
I would love to regret, but of what use is it? Regret, regret because of loss. How it hurts. Yes, it hurts. We have it, we lose it, we regret it's lost. Sometimes it never comes back. Sometimes it does.
We lose many things. We suffer, yes that is the right word, from lost. We suffer. Yet, there is still hope. Appreciation, yes, we can show appreciation. Not say it, show it. After all, actions speak louder than words.
It's true isn't it? We never really notice until its gone. Yes, gone, lost to us. We take things, people, everything for granted. We even take oxygen for granted! Until, until we're out of breath, to the point of suffocation. Yes, we notice it then, notice how important it is to us, how we literally cannot live without it.
They say you never really miss the water until it's gone, and by then, it's too late. We're foolish like that. Never knowing, never noticing, until its too late. Too late to change anything no matter how much we want to. The water has gone, it's beyond our reach, it is not the same anymore because technically the water isn't the same anymore. Confusing isn't it? Water is still water, you say, no matter how it flows. Ah, flow......yes...............that's the key word. Water flows, it's never in the same place. Take it this way, that drop of H2o that just passed you has really passed you and is flowing into the sea. Notice drop, it never stays the same.
Time, we treat it the same. We waste it, we don't know until its gone. Air, water, the earth beneath our feet, yes, we forget them until we lose them. People, oh, we are guilty of taking them for granted. Yes, I plead guilty too. I plead guilty to ignoring people, not appreciating them, thinking they will always be there. When really, it's not true. They won't be there forever. They will move, miles and miles away, or I will move. There are many ways to be separated.
I would love to regret, but of what use is it? Regret, regret because of loss. How it hurts. Yes, it hurts. We have it, we lose it, we regret it's lost. Sometimes it never comes back. Sometimes it does.
We lose many things. We suffer, yes that is the right word, from lost. We suffer. Yet, there is still hope. Appreciation, yes, we can show appreciation. Not say it, show it. After all, actions speak louder than words.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Birthday Post!!!
Its........my birthday.......... I'm officially a year older and I'm........speechless. I guess I'm still in shock........................................
It's 11 pm and according to my mom I was one loud baby but I didn't cry until I really had to, the nurses were so relieved. I was very red. I was a big baby but not as big as my brother who came a year later.
I finally talked to my best friend from primary. We didn't fight or anything, just that life's so busy that we didn't really have time. Time........it likes to fly doesn't it? We always don't have enough time. Those facing exams don't have enough time to study. There is no time to do this, to do that and before you know it, poof, it's your birthday, you are older and you find there are many things you planned to do but didn't and now......time won't turn back, you know very well. Don't put off any longer, you'll end up feeling regret on your birthday, like me. It's not nice. So make use of your time. Mine is going to pass at the stroke of 12 and it'll be someone else's birthday somewhere out there. Treasure the time counting down to yours.
I really should go to bed. I know that the baby me from long ago has just finish feeding and is now sleeping. Just like what I should be doing now. So HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!! To all those born on March 11!!!!!!!!!
It's 11 pm and according to my mom I was one loud baby but I didn't cry until I really had to, the nurses were so relieved. I was very red. I was a big baby but not as big as my brother who came a year later.
I finally talked to my best friend from primary. We didn't fight or anything, just that life's so busy that we didn't really have time. Time........it likes to fly doesn't it? We always don't have enough time. Those facing exams don't have enough time to study. There is no time to do this, to do that and before you know it, poof, it's your birthday, you are older and you find there are many things you planned to do but didn't and now......time won't turn back, you know very well. Don't put off any longer, you'll end up feeling regret on your birthday, like me. It's not nice. So make use of your time. Mine is going to pass at the stroke of 12 and it'll be someone else's birthday somewhere out there. Treasure the time counting down to yours.
I really should go to bed. I know that the baby me from long ago has just finish feeding and is now sleeping. Just like what I should be doing now. So HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!! To all those born on March 11!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
He listens
Ever felt like you are completely alone? Somehow you are in a crowd of people, yet you feel like you are an island in the middle of the ocean. You feel like no one cares, no one pays any attention to you. That you are just there for decoration, that you don't really matter. You are just there to make up numbers so that the powers that be can get a kick out of seeing so many people and have their ego stroked by the fact that there are so many people attending and having a great time. You have friends but no one who truly understands. You feel like you listen, you only listen, listen to your friends problems but all you manage to say is just a tinee tiny fraction of what you feel and what you want to tell them. The conversation is all about them in a moment, always them. Your input is minimal, except when they want your advise. You are the eternal listener. They are friends with you because they need you to listen to them, they don't really care what happens to you. YOU are disposable. YOU are not necessary. No one would miss you if you go. You have a voice but there's no one to listen. There's no one interested in listening.
I felt like that, I still feel like that. The difference is........drumroll.......... I KNOW Jesus listens. Oh, I feel down and lonely. Yes, I hold on to problems, magnified responsibilities, hurts, aches, negative comments and I don't know how to let go. Once when I was a baby I got a hold on the hair of my head and didn't know how to let go. I pulled and pulled, (maybe) thinking that if I did that that funny feeling thing in my hand wouldn't be there. I pulled and pulled and pulled to no avail. The only thing that happened was, I started to bleed. It hurt so much and like any self respecting baby, I cried. This story is absolutely true by the way, I have my mom as witness. That's the way I am with problems, I hold on and don't know how to let go. I'm learning to now, learning to cast all my cares upon Jesus. I have the added assurance that he loves me and he listens. The God who created the Earth and the skies. He who knows the names of ALL the stars in the sky, knows every strand of hair on my body. Even if there are millions and millions of people on this Earth, he listens to ME, me who feels like I'm completely alone, who feels that no one listens. HE, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, Creator and Ruler of everything, is willing to listen to me............I feel LOVED~ Very loved.
To anyone out there, whom I know and don't know. If you are feeling down and alone, depressed and hopeless. Know that Jesus cares. He loves you. Very very much. You are not alone. The Prince of Peace is with you.
I felt like that, I still feel like that. The difference is........drumroll.......... I KNOW Jesus listens. Oh, I feel down and lonely. Yes, I hold on to problems, magnified responsibilities, hurts, aches, negative comments and I don't know how to let go. Once when I was a baby I got a hold on the hair of my head and didn't know how to let go. I pulled and pulled, (maybe) thinking that if I did that that funny feeling thing in my hand wouldn't be there. I pulled and pulled and pulled to no avail. The only thing that happened was, I started to bleed. It hurt so much and like any self respecting baby, I cried. This story is absolutely true by the way, I have my mom as witness. That's the way I am with problems, I hold on and don't know how to let go. I'm learning to now, learning to cast all my cares upon Jesus. I have the added assurance that he loves me and he listens. The God who created the Earth and the skies. He who knows the names of ALL the stars in the sky, knows every strand of hair on my body. Even if there are millions and millions of people on this Earth, he listens to ME, me who feels like I'm completely alone, who feels that no one listens. HE, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, Creator and Ruler of everything, is willing to listen to me............I feel LOVED~ Very loved.
To anyone out there, whom I know and don't know. If you are feeling down and alone, depressed and hopeless. Know that Jesus cares. He loves you. Very very much. You are not alone. The Prince of Peace is with you.
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