Does anyone like musicals?

Or to be more specific, does anyone like "The Fiddler on the Roof"? I rewatched the film today and it surprised me how there were things I didn't notice before. Details like expressions, scenery, songs I didn't like before etc. Now that I'm older, I appreciate Act II better.

"Far from the home I love", "Do you love me", "Chava sequence" and "Anatevka" really stood out for me this time. In fact, I've been rewatching the "Chava sequence" on Youtube instead of searching for K-pop. This act is so much more serious and with a bit more understanding brought by age plus a lot more knowledge on history than I had before, I've come to like this part.

"Chava sequence" or "Chava Ballet" is more dance than song but Topol's face as he sung it just......well, it reduced me to a blubbering mess. He was singing of how he (Tevye) didn't understand the world anymore, how things have changed. Chava started dancing with her mother in the background, then with her sisters. There they were 3 girls playing and dancing around, 3 carefree children. Slowly, they went off hand in hand with their loves, Tzeitel with Motel, Hodel with Perchik. Of course the clincher comes next. Fyedka comes for Chava and as she hesitates between the Fiddler (tradition, the life she's known) and Fyedka (love, an uncertain future) I was just so......heartbroken. And when she chooses Fyedka, slowly the scene changes to Tevye's face as he contemplates this. The pain and hurt in his face was just so........ I don't know what to say. I started sobbing there and I had to grab a lot of tissues during the dialogue bits where Chava asks Tevye to accept her marriage (she married Fyedka secretly that morning) and Tevye is debating it in a monologue. He finally decides that he can't accept this, that it would be tantamount to betraying his faith, his people, and walks away, Chava crying out to him in the background.

I can sort of understand that. One of the first things my mother told me was not to marry outside my religion. They'd act like Tevye had or perhaps they'd react like Golde, a bit more willing to forgive. I'd make them cry terribly of this I'm certain. The pain on Tevye's face, I don't think I'd be able to bear it if I caused them to look like that. And my dad.............

On the other hand, I think my grandparent's were rather outrage when my parents became Christian. My maternal grandparents became Christians eventually, my paternal side is still staunchly Buddhist. No disowning happened.

What should the stance be on this? Follow your heart or traditions? I guess it depends on the situation. I support Chava's decision by the way yet sympathise with Tevye. So, I think my answer is "I don't know".

Ara? I'm writing again?

I think I might be a contender for "World Champion for Procrastination". Notice the reeaaallllyyyy long interval between blog posts. Sigh, me and schedules just can't mix it seems, such a pity.

Though I'm pretty sure no one looks here anymore, I felt like writing, for nostalgia's sake. I've not been writing lately. It's 1/2 parts laziness, no ideas and pondering on self censorship. Should we practice self censorship on the things we post online? Does "Freedom of Speech" have a limit? I really have no idea.

On one hand, it's quite a relief to just rant and give your opinion. On the other hand, what you write might just come back to bite you in the arse. I know how words can be twisted, I've seen how dangerous it is. Your very life could depend on the immature words of your youth. When people want to get rid of you, anything goes. And if they have a good lawyer, kiss yourself goodbye!

So where are the boundaries? What can you write? According to government propaganda (Moral class, it serves no other purpose), freedom of speech means: no discussing "sensitive issues" e.g. race, religion, government policy, corruption etc. What in the world do we talk about?! I think people want to discuss such things and besides its in human nature to break laws. Not to mention, people like airing their views regardless of who is listening.

So what is "Freedom of Speech"? Must we check ourselves for writing "sensitive" topics? Isn't everyone biased at heart? And is there any truth in the old sayings telling you to think before you speak?

Kenpei!

Is unity possible? It's talked about everywhere, even at GB camp! Unity, unity, unity, why the sudden interest in unity now? Why is it the foremost on everybody's mind? Or at least niggling at the back of your mind.
I've just been wondering, is unity something that can be achieved? There's so much suspicion and prejudice in the air. Not to mention humans are generally.....cliquey. If unity is something as simple as giving people a common goal, then maybe, yes, it can be achieved. Will the people buy it so easily is the problem.
What is unity? I'd like to know. The dictionary can't tell me.

A mini adventure

Here's a little something, I stayed back in school to finish a project and we ran out of glue stick. The school book store was closed so we went to the shops across the road but no luck. We walked further and further and I just had to open my big fat mouth and say we would be better off walking to The Store. My best friend took it as a good idea (only she could turn a sarcastic outburst into a "good" idea) and off we went.
It was 4:00 o'clock on a Friday which means time to leave the office for home and I couldn't believe how many cars there were. The roads were sooooooooooooo busy!!! So there we were, two girls in uniforms, walking through the sweltering heat to The Store which was VERY far away. We changed target to Econsave which was closer (but not close enough). I kept praying that a book store would pop up out of nowhere. We took out our name tags and put them in our uniform pockets (my idea, since we already look like delinquents why not finish it). We dodged cars and made many suicidal attempts to cross the road. In fact we were so scared we held unto each others hands as we crossed!! All the while joking about our family's reactions if one of us dies. Morbid I know, but what can you expect when we were working on a project about teenage angst?
We finally made it (in one piece) to Econsave. We walked here and there, going through smelly places, taking one big round in the supermarket looking for the stationary section (sadly failing). I was so tired, thirsty and discouraged that I nearly cried when my best friend said that she found the sign for stationary. Actually, through the whole walk there, we were worried that we didn't have enough money. Ok, so I was worried, my best friend said she thought it would be enough but even she got discouraged after walking so long in the blistering heat and said she would cry if we couldn't find that glue stick.
Well, up the stairs we climbed/ran and we were looking through aisles of toys, camping equipment, cooking utensils etc. I was stomping like a woman with a mission, with messy hair I think I looked more like a maniac. So we took another big round and jumped for joy when we FINALLY found the glue section only to find that.....HORRORS we didn't have enough money!!! So there we were berating ourselves for eating so much just now all the while searching our pockets for any "hidden" cash. We did manage to find RM2 which extra money allowed us to buy the cheapest double pack (they didn't sell anything in single).
We paid, we left (by a different way). Found the roads extra packed and made a few more suicidal road-crossing attempts and made our way back to school via short cut. Whew.........we felt so relieved until I realized I lost my name tag!!!!!! What am I going to do once school reopens?????
At least we managed to get half of the project done.

So Tired

Yeah, somehow I am tired. Your probably thinking, "You've gotta be kidding. It's 6 in the morning." Not physically, just that life feels a bit tiring, just a bit. It's been a rather lonely week that's all. I'm glad that we have a 24-hour hotline with God, it'd be terrible without, I probably would be depressed by now.

Maybe the problem is with me. I'm not really that good at mixing with people. I don't know why......I really don't...... Do I talk too much I wonder? Again I'm glad for the 24-hour hotline, because really there is no one else more willing to listen. I read a quote in the newspaper,"There is nothing else more boring than listening to someone's dreams except listening to someone's problems." It's not verbatim mind you but the gist of the message is there.

Don't worry about me. I've got an anchor in the storm, it's just that I'm currently below water level. I'll resurface for air soon. Really! Because no matter how much I rant about me and my problems, I can almost picture Him smiling gently, kindly and thinking, "Complain all you want, I'll listen, but wait until you see the great thing I have planned for you." Makes you feel warm doesn't it?