So it seems writing is the only way I can clear my thoughts. I always wondered why I thought in 3rd person, as if trying to describe what's happening as if I were imagining what to write for a story. As if my life was merely words on paper. Come to think of it, that'd make my life miserable.
Life doesn't seem to like me at the moment. I wander around confused and alone. Always alone. It seems like some things don't change, I'm still a loner no matter what I try to do. I just can't seem to make close friends in my cohort. My housemates though.... they've quickly become my most important friends here in college. They mean the most to me and they're my best friends here. It's just bizarre.... And the thing is, the one who has the most in common with me isn't the noisy, opinionated girl or the kind, sensible girl. It's not the jolly if kinda closed one or the happy-go-luck, blur one. It's the quiet, shy one who also knows what its like to be so lonely that you cling fiercely to the those precious people who you call friend. They're all kinda like me but she is the one who has the most in common with me.
I feel displaced here. Starting from scratch is not uncommon but this is so hard and I don't know why. I'm cut off from the things I love: I don't draw, I don't write, I don't read. I'm bereft off the things that make me sane and I have to deal with new creatures - boys. I never was very good at handling their teasing and I generally give out such a serious vibe that people don't laugh with me.
So many things I wish to pour out, yet when I start typing I can't seem to gather them all. A hundred things, a thousands things that I can't express and don't know who to tell to. Fate, y u hate me so much?
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Friday, February 3, 2012
A little pocket of Heaven
When I think of Heaven, I see a field that goes on for miles and miles. There is no border in sight and the line between the earth and the sky is blurred as the grass reaches up as if to touch the heavens. Somewhere in the distance, in a way that is impossible, there are trees. In the midst of the field I will walk, and the warm sun that burns bitingly on my skin is relieved by a breeze.
No longer do I dread the feel of soil between my toes or underneath my feet. Nor do I fear the thought of bugs crawling over me, for here there can be no hate or fear. All the petty little things of Earth do not matter anymore and I fear not opinions or people or concepts.
I can walk or run or skip or jump. I can dance if I please or sing on the top of my lungs. And for miles and miles on end, there is not a single person in sight. Just me, the sun, the breeze and the grass.
No longer do I dread the feel of soil between my toes or underneath my feet. Nor do I fear the thought of bugs crawling over me, for here there can be no hate or fear. All the petty little things of Earth do not matter anymore and I fear not opinions or people or concepts.
I can walk or run or skip or jump. I can dance if I please or sing on the top of my lungs. And for miles and miles on end, there is not a single person in sight. Just me, the sun, the breeze and the grass.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Unfolding doubts
I find I must say something about this thing somewhere and I don't know where to go anymore. College is looming and I am at a loss. We shall not discuss my inability to study or retain information. Rather I'd like to make sense of my jumbled thoughts.
My mother is of the impression that I should take up English or something of that sort. I don't like that idea. I know she doesn't understand why I take science subjects only to do so badly. My tongue does not adjust to languages so easily nor can I fully understand scientific concepts. I am...strange perhaps. Constantly intrigue by things out of my reach. I do not want to take up teaching like she suggests. I know all the poisonous indictments and curses I have mentally hurled at my teachers will come back to bite me. Hard. I have never been a good student, never finished assignments, never prepared properly for a class. I do no revision but last minute revision and still sit somewhere in the middle of the form. They have not found out because I simply do not stand out.
I am not the shining phoenix they wish me to be, no heron among the chickens. I am plain an average, without the academic accomplishments to make up for it. I do not like the idea of becoming a part of the rat race, sheltered child that I am. I don't think I have the skills or personality a corporation would want anyway. I do not wish for the struggles and glory of leadership. I have not much liking for power play and the constant strive for popularity. I am not like those who aggresively impose their will on others. I am mildly competitive and I suppose I do have some leadership abilities but praise and glory do not tempt me much. Just some appreciation will do though I certainly wouldn't mind more.
Papa, mama. Did you know I wouldn't mind working with children or old folk? My heart stirs with sympathy for those who aren't wanted. Do you remember that girl who smiled so happily when I hugged her? I don't want anyone to feel left out. I want to do what I can and hope they'll realize that it's alright, there's someone who'll hug you. I'm scared, because if that's the life God has called me to it's going to be one of hardship. Nothing like the cushy desk job or the exalted life of some rich wife you've wished for me. It'll be a life far removed from the pampered existence you've given me. Somewhere where I'll have to push away little girl fears for people who need me and learn to stand so I can lift those who cannot. I am staring at a million uncertainties and I hate it.
But I want to be a person who will bend down and humble myself to help those who cannot help themselves. I want to be strong so I can be leaned on by those who want to stand up again. I want to be a million things but this one stands out among them all. I want to be someone who can show the Father's heart and let His compassion overflow from me into the lives of all I touch.
My mother is of the impression that I should take up English or something of that sort. I don't like that idea. I know she doesn't understand why I take science subjects only to do so badly. My tongue does not adjust to languages so easily nor can I fully understand scientific concepts. I am...strange perhaps. Constantly intrigue by things out of my reach. I do not want to take up teaching like she suggests. I know all the poisonous indictments and curses I have mentally hurled at my teachers will come back to bite me. Hard. I have never been a good student, never finished assignments, never prepared properly for a class. I do no revision but last minute revision and still sit somewhere in the middle of the form. They have not found out because I simply do not stand out.
I am not the shining phoenix they wish me to be, no heron among the chickens. I am plain an average, without the academic accomplishments to make up for it. I do not like the idea of becoming a part of the rat race, sheltered child that I am. I don't think I have the skills or personality a corporation would want anyway. I do not wish for the struggles and glory of leadership. I have not much liking for power play and the constant strive for popularity. I am not like those who aggresively impose their will on others. I am mildly competitive and I suppose I do have some leadership abilities but praise and glory do not tempt me much. Just some appreciation will do though I certainly wouldn't mind more.
Papa, mama. Did you know I wouldn't mind working with children or old folk? My heart stirs with sympathy for those who aren't wanted. Do you remember that girl who smiled so happily when I hugged her? I don't want anyone to feel left out. I want to do what I can and hope they'll realize that it's alright, there's someone who'll hug you. I'm scared, because if that's the life God has called me to it's going to be one of hardship. Nothing like the cushy desk job or the exalted life of some rich wife you've wished for me. It'll be a life far removed from the pampered existence you've given me. Somewhere where I'll have to push away little girl fears for people who need me and learn to stand so I can lift those who cannot. I am staring at a million uncertainties and I hate it.
But I want to be a person who will bend down and humble myself to help those who cannot help themselves. I want to be strong so I can be leaned on by those who want to stand up again. I want to be a million things but this one stands out among them all. I want to be someone who can show the Father's heart and let His compassion overflow from me into the lives of all I touch.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Some thoughts on the Malaysia brain drain
I've wanted to write something for quite a long time but each time I sit in front of the computer I end up getting distracted. My mom also doesn't like me writing. Like quite a few mums I know, she thinks writing is unproductive and useless. Some people might find this shocking, but might I gently remind you about cultural dissonance.
Reading an email recently, the author mentioned how in his class in America, people were horrified when he gave his opinion that some countries deserved to lose their talented people. Personally, I think in these cases, its very hard to judge the speaker or his listeners. Perhaps they feel that it is an injustice that developing countries be denied the chance to grow. Yet they don't know what it is like to grow up thinking about leaving, not just a small town but the country in general.
Here in Malaysia, things don't look very rosy. It is disconcerting to see the politicians playing up racial issues. It is polarizing the people when what Malaysia needs is unity in order to progress. Young and naive as most of us young people are, the fact that the politicians are only interested in safeguarding their own interests and bank account is pretty evident. Most of us are uninterested in politics because we feel it is boring, dirty and has nothing to do with us. Still, things do trickle down to us. Especially when our parents encourage to leave and never come back.
I come from an "immigrant family", being the third generation to live on this blessed shore. I hear lots of rumors amongst the community about various injustices inflicted. Scholarship applications rejected, places in university programs denied, marking standards brought up and down in public exams, all based on the colour of ones skin. In front of my eyes, I see people leaving for the greener grass on the other side.
People never change. The only things that change is the setting and the knowledge gained. Basic human behaviour is still the same. What people want, is a chance to make a living, a roof over their heads and protection from being exploited. If they can't get what they want here, they simply move. Of course, the more patriotic people may choose to take up arms but Malaysians are a notoriously apathetic lot. We dislike violence and prefer to avoid confrontation. So we pack our bags and get out as soon as our finances allow it.
I love Malaysia but I can't help but get the feeling that it doesn't love me. One-sided relationships are very trying on a person, you know. So I'm another young person who will get on a plane once I have the money and probably never come back. It does pain me to leave a place I love, to leave behind familiarity for a stranger's land. But I have to think of myself. I have to do what's best for me. I will have to leave someday.
Reading an email recently, the author mentioned how in his class in America, people were horrified when he gave his opinion that some countries deserved to lose their talented people. Personally, I think in these cases, its very hard to judge the speaker or his listeners. Perhaps they feel that it is an injustice that developing countries be denied the chance to grow. Yet they don't know what it is like to grow up thinking about leaving, not just a small town but the country in general.
Here in Malaysia, things don't look very rosy. It is disconcerting to see the politicians playing up racial issues. It is polarizing the people when what Malaysia needs is unity in order to progress. Young and naive as most of us young people are, the fact that the politicians are only interested in safeguarding their own interests and bank account is pretty evident. Most of us are uninterested in politics because we feel it is boring, dirty and has nothing to do with us. Still, things do trickle down to us. Especially when our parents encourage to leave and never come back.
I come from an "immigrant family", being the third generation to live on this blessed shore. I hear lots of rumors amongst the community about various injustices inflicted. Scholarship applications rejected, places in university programs denied, marking standards brought up and down in public exams, all based on the colour of ones skin. In front of my eyes, I see people leaving for the greener grass on the other side.
People never change. The only things that change is the setting and the knowledge gained. Basic human behaviour is still the same. What people want, is a chance to make a living, a roof over their heads and protection from being exploited. If they can't get what they want here, they simply move. Of course, the more patriotic people may choose to take up arms but Malaysians are a notoriously apathetic lot. We dislike violence and prefer to avoid confrontation. So we pack our bags and get out as soon as our finances allow it.
I love Malaysia but I can't help but get the feeling that it doesn't love me. One-sided relationships are very trying on a person, you know. So I'm another young person who will get on a plane once I have the money and probably never come back. It does pain me to leave a place I love, to leave behind familiarity for a stranger's land. But I have to think of myself. I have to do what's best for me. I will have to leave someday.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Tips ahoy!
Went for the Star NiE Mag Inc workshop today. I was so shocked when the teacher asked me to fill up the permission slip to leave the school. I thought I did something wrong unknowingly and she was calling me out to kill me! It turns out my English teacher nominated me. I was so touched because even though she's taught me for 3 years she can't really remember my name (my name is hell to pronounce for a five-lettered thing) but she thought so highly of me.
The group of girls sent to attend the workshop were rather diverse, one from each form baby! And we fulfilled the 1Malaysia requirement. Its rather amusing to see me in the midst of these accomplished girls. They're in the top classes, very involved in school activities. Two of them are prefects and high up in the popularity scale (the number of positions they hold in co-curricular activities is proof), the other girl is a school debater. In the mix of this you have ye average person aka me. No accomplishments unless you count choral speaking team. No positions (my club members in our tiny CF don't even recognize me), unpopular and content to float around and let the day pass. The average commoner. I got my laughs.
Mag Inc is a big thing to students nationwide. Mostly because of the pizza voucher for participation. Pizza in Malaysia isn't a cheap dish at all and we certainly aren't in the habit of eating it all the time. With so many people participating, they're bound to start researching and I thought, why don't I share what notes I've taken down. Perhaps some people would find the website vague (I did last year) or maybe they don't know how to get started. There are many who wouldn't ask the workshop participants out of shyness, fear etc. They prefer to sit down in their comfy chairs and websurf, so this is for you.
Play with colours Use clip arts (you don’t need to pay royalty for these) Auto shapes Lines Cut and paste from recycled items Adopt mix media, e.g. collages
The group of girls sent to attend the workshop were rather diverse, one from each form baby! And we fulfilled the 1Malaysia requirement. Its rather amusing to see me in the midst of these accomplished girls. They're in the top classes, very involved in school activities. Two of them are prefects and high up in the popularity scale (the number of positions they hold in co-curricular activities is proof), the other girl is a school debater. In the mix of this you have ye average person aka me. No accomplishments unless you count choral speaking team. No positions (my club members in our tiny CF don't even recognize me), unpopular and content to float around and let the day pass. The average commoner. I got my laughs.
Mag Inc is a big thing to students nationwide. Mostly because of the pizza voucher for participation. Pizza in Malaysia isn't a cheap dish at all and we certainly aren't in the habit of eating it all the time. With so many people participating, they're bound to start researching and I thought, why don't I share what notes I've taken down. Perhaps some people would find the website vague (I did last year) or maybe they don't know how to get started. There are many who wouldn't ask the workshop participants out of shyness, fear etc. They prefer to sit down in their comfy chairs and websurf, so this is for you.
1. Team consists of 4 or 5 people only.
2. Brainstorm on topics; choose one you would like to Speak Out
Ë What are you talking about
A Plus and minus interesting aspects
A Relate to anecdotes/happenings in real life. Give it the human touch
A Provide statistics/ Do a poll
Ë What are the solutions
A What can people get/learn from your magazine (educational value)
A Give suggestions and tips
3. Don’t plagiarize articles/cartoons from other publications
4. Always state the sources, e.g. write what song you’re using in your video and who sang it in the credits
5. Delegate the work
6. Photos are important. Hilarious captions too
7. Include a masthead and editorial note
8. Encouraged to do in scrapbook form (you don’t have to dig out too much money from your pocket this way)
Ë It would be prefer if you paste things that can be felt, e.g. If you’re doing on fashion, paste scraps of cloth so the judges can feel the texture
Ë Make sure whatever you paste does not break easily and will not hurt anyone. So, no glass, no mirrors, ceramics etc
9. Judges will look at layout/creativity/content/use of language.
10. Most importantly be original and creative. The sky’s the limit.
Pizza vouchers
I. 1 mini pan pizza, 1 personal pan pizza
II. 2 mini magazines/1 mini magazine and 1 three minute video clip, 1 regular pan pizza
Basic requirements:
· 1 feature article
· 3 other elements
v Poems
v Polls
v Editorials
v Cartoon
v Comic strip
v Interviews
v Jokes
v Photograph
v Illustration (if you use some form of design in the page it counts too)
v Adverts
Template:
a) Only the original template from The Star is allowed
b) You can type, cut, paste and draw on this template. Yes, you can type your feature article on A4 paper and stick it on the template.
Video:
a) Same topic as your magazine
b) Format on .mpeg file supported by Windows Media Player
c) Label the CD/DVD clearly with the name of team and school name
d) Make sure the ink will not smudge
e) One form (original form B) per CD/DVD
Design Tips
Play with colours Use clip arts (you don’t need to pay royalty for these) Auto shapes Lines Cut and paste from recycled items Adopt mix media, e.g. collagesWhat is……
A magazine
§ A form of publication; for a larger audience; something people can relate to
§ Issued periodically (at a certain time) e.g. Once a month, once every 2 months, two times a year etc (Your mini magazine? Once in a lifetime)
§ Bound in a cover
§ Contain essays, stories, poems etc. Also contains photographs and drawings
§ Frequently specializing in a particular subject or area, e.g. hobbies, sports, fashion
Masthead
§ Where you list out the members of your team and their roles, e.g.:-
Team leader
ABC
Writer
DEF
Photographer
GHI
§ You can include photographs/pictures of your individual team members
§ You may also include email addresses for feedback
Editorial Note
§ A way to get your personal opinion on a topic out
§ Usually written by team leader but can also be written from the whole team’s point of view
§ Encouraged to write it from the whole groups point of view
§ Keep the topic relevant to the magazine
§ Do not let it get too long (it’s only a small corner). Keep it short and simple
§ It provides an understanding of a subject
Friday, April 1, 2011
I found hidden treasure (sorta)
Happy April Fools! Hope nobody got pranked too severely. Me? I got tricked in front of the class. Not surprised if the whole block heard my class laughing. Who would have thought that quiet and passive Science 2 could pull that off? We're so abnormally quiet that the highest decibel level we get to is a buzz. And this is when the teacher is not in class. Yeah, strange.
Well I was doing me some youtube surfing when I felt like listening to Please Bring Honour To Us All. Yes, I'm the kind of female that goes on Disney musical highs, scary no? So somehow I got a whim to click God Help The Outcasts. Wham, I started crying. Here was my longing being sang in the voice of an angel. True, I'm not as unselfish as Esmeralda being wholly human and wholly self-serving and lazy but I've always felt that society has put too much emphasis on being leaders, on being outstanding. We often forget that there are often others who need help and when we do help its only for a few seconds and then we forget them. I always did feel something for those that are unwanted. Dear Jesus, give me more compassion to love the unlovable.
So here we have a girl who has nothing, is nothing. Yet, she prays for others and asks nothing for herself. This is contrasted to the rich who pray in the cathedral for wealth, fame, glory. All the things everyone wants but how many are willing to ask that others be blessed too? True, they are very pitiful, searching to fill an emptiness they cannot explain. But, the problems come when you look at yourself. When you focus only on yourself, you see all that is lacking, all that is ugly in you. When you focus on others, the world is more beautiful.
The comments section was filled with religious rhetoric though, which makes me think people are completely missing the point. Its not that she's praying to a God you don't believe in, its that she's asking for help for others when she herself needs so much too. The purpose is not to make you argue about whether there is a God or not, its about selflessness and the capacity to love those that society find undesirable. Anyone, regardless of status and wealth, who has at anytime dealt with confidence problems or the feeling of being unloved and unwanted should know how horrible it is. And that is why we must reach out. Because even if we are hurting, to stretch out our hands and show love (what little of it we have), it can heal.
I remember some children I had the chance to meet in my old Sunday School. They lived with their moms in a house rented by a kind man. (Yeah, they didn't have a home.) I admit I was a horrible person then, didn't pay them any attention because they were scrawny, mischievous and of a different race. Yeah, I am pretty disgusted with the person I was then. But this is church and I was a student teacher (alright I was a busybody 13 year old) so I had to work with them. I was pretty indifferent until I gave one of the little girls a congratulatory hug. The poor girl looked so happy. Nobody really paid them any attention. The teachers (the adults) just gave them some notice but always went for the cute and lovable ones. Looking back I don't blame them, because it is human to look for the beautiful and ignore the less than perfect. That little girl and I became friends of sorts and she clung to me afterwards. I think that's what got the rest of them to warm up to me. And I had to give out lots of hugs everytime I was in church. I kicked myself like you have no idea. And that is when I first thought, we neglect those we can help far too often.
So God Help the Outcasts made me tear up, from the beautiful words and from the memories it brought back up. I've gone to another church and don't see them anymore. Its been years already. I'm not exactly what you'd called brilliant. I'm not a social butterfly nor do I excel in co-curricular activities. I don't measure up to the brilliance and leadership abilities that people look for in scholarship holders (blasted things are what I need but are so out of reach). I am just an average girl, living a pretty mediocre life and being far from what people admire. Yet, to know that just by giving hugs, by giving my time and my ear to all their nonsensical little ramblings, I made some children happy, I am glad. Even if the dream I'm chasing now doesn't come true, I think, I'm going to spread a little bit of care, to all the outcasts.
Well I was doing me some youtube surfing when I felt like listening to Please Bring Honour To Us All. Yes, I'm the kind of female that goes on Disney musical highs, scary no? So somehow I got a whim to click God Help The Outcasts. Wham, I started crying. Here was my longing being sang in the voice of an angel. True, I'm not as unselfish as Esmeralda being wholly human and wholly self-serving and lazy but I've always felt that society has put too much emphasis on being leaders, on being outstanding. We often forget that there are often others who need help and when we do help its only for a few seconds and then we forget them. I always did feel something for those that are unwanted. Dear Jesus, give me more compassion to love the unlovable.
So here we have a girl who has nothing, is nothing. Yet, she prays for others and asks nothing for herself. This is contrasted to the rich who pray in the cathedral for wealth, fame, glory. All the things everyone wants but how many are willing to ask that others be blessed too? True, they are very pitiful, searching to fill an emptiness they cannot explain. But, the problems come when you look at yourself. When you focus only on yourself, you see all that is lacking, all that is ugly in you. When you focus on others, the world is more beautiful.
The comments section was filled with religious rhetoric though, which makes me think people are completely missing the point. Its not that she's praying to a God you don't believe in, its that she's asking for help for others when she herself needs so much too. The purpose is not to make you argue about whether there is a God or not, its about selflessness and the capacity to love those that society find undesirable. Anyone, regardless of status and wealth, who has at anytime dealt with confidence problems or the feeling of being unloved and unwanted should know how horrible it is. And that is why we must reach out. Because even if we are hurting, to stretch out our hands and show love (what little of it we have), it can heal.
I remember some children I had the chance to meet in my old Sunday School. They lived with their moms in a house rented by a kind man. (Yeah, they didn't have a home.) I admit I was a horrible person then, didn't pay them any attention because they were scrawny, mischievous and of a different race. Yeah, I am pretty disgusted with the person I was then. But this is church and I was a student teacher (alright I was a busybody 13 year old) so I had to work with them. I was pretty indifferent until I gave one of the little girls a congratulatory hug. The poor girl looked so happy. Nobody really paid them any attention. The teachers (the adults) just gave them some notice but always went for the cute and lovable ones. Looking back I don't blame them, because it is human to look for the beautiful and ignore the less than perfect. That little girl and I became friends of sorts and she clung to me afterwards. I think that's what got the rest of them to warm up to me. And I had to give out lots of hugs everytime I was in church. I kicked myself like you have no idea. And that is when I first thought, we neglect those we can help far too often.
So God Help the Outcasts made me tear up, from the beautiful words and from the memories it brought back up. I've gone to another church and don't see them anymore. Its been years already. I'm not exactly what you'd called brilliant. I'm not a social butterfly nor do I excel in co-curricular activities. I don't measure up to the brilliance and leadership abilities that people look for in scholarship holders (blasted things are what I need but are so out of reach). I am just an average girl, living a pretty mediocre life and being far from what people admire. Yet, to know that just by giving hugs, by giving my time and my ear to all their nonsensical little ramblings, I made some children happy, I am glad. Even if the dream I'm chasing now doesn't come true, I think, I'm going to spread a little bit of care, to all the outcasts.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Narcissism to the max!
When out to celebrate my birthday with a group of friends today. Actually, my birthday was last Friday and I really spent it with one of my best friends at an eatery. We blew about RM6 on lunch and had a quiet peaceful afternoon before heading to tuition. A luxury because we get RM10 a week. Then I had dinner with my family, threw a hissy fit and...... all things considering it was ok.
So one of us was late, one of us had to wait for her. The three of us left behind were worried throughout the whole movie but lunch was fun at least. We watched I Am Number Four and Mi-chan and I were commenting and predicting where the story was going. With Tvtropes, it wasn't much of a strain. Still, a good movie to shut your brain down too and just let yourself be entertained. I would have wanted to watch The King's Speech but its not showing in Ipoh and its 18+. Bummer. I downloaded it because I couldn't get my hands on it, but if the real dvd is going to be sold here, I'll be in the line.
Lunch was insane. Full stop. The topics were random, like we were determined to screw up each others minds. Mi-chan tellling 2 of them about Black Swan (they forced her to) made me choke on my food. I think I'm going to have nightmares just listening about it. Karaoke after that was even worse. The volume was so loud and ugghhh the Lady Gaga songs one of my friends insisted on singing were nightmare fuel, because she insisted on screaming it. It was entertaining but..... I don't want a repeat performance. So me and Ju-chan retaliated by singing Korean songs that none of them knew.
I had fun, I really did. Most insane day ever! The heck though, I love each and everyone of that crazy bunch. Everyone needs insane friends. Yeah, I'm probably the craziest of them all. Or at least one of the most eccentric.
So one of us was late, one of us had to wait for her. The three of us left behind were worried throughout the whole movie but lunch was fun at least. We watched I Am Number Four and Mi-chan and I were commenting and predicting where the story was going. With Tvtropes, it wasn't much of a strain. Still, a good movie to shut your brain down too and just let yourself be entertained. I would have wanted to watch The King's Speech but its not showing in Ipoh and its 18+. Bummer. I downloaded it because I couldn't get my hands on it, but if the real dvd is going to be sold here, I'll be in the line.
Lunch was insane. Full stop. The topics were random, like we were determined to screw up each others minds. Mi-chan tellling 2 of them about Black Swan (they forced her to) made me choke on my food. I think I'm going to have nightmares just listening about it. Karaoke after that was even worse. The volume was so loud and ugghhh the Lady Gaga songs one of my friends insisted on singing were nightmare fuel, because she insisted on screaming it. It was entertaining but..... I don't want a repeat performance. So me and Ju-chan retaliated by singing Korean songs that none of them knew.
I had fun, I really did. Most insane day ever! The heck though, I love each and everyone of that crazy bunch. Everyone needs insane friends. Yeah, I'm probably the craziest of them all. Or at least one of the most eccentric.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
I promise that this post will be more general.
Warning: 3 large pictures and lots of RL identity markers.
So I procrastinate, what else is new? The main push for today's post is the end of three days of exams, all of which I don't think I did very well. Then again, this is what I do during exams:
Specifically, this is what I did in the History paper. Sadly, I had to rub off whatever doodles I did on the other papers because I had to pass them up. Maybe mid-year exams, on my English paper. :D
Other than this, my life has been pretty boring. Though I have to say, I like being able to sleep now. Believe it or not I actually attempted to study and not give it up as a lost cause before the exams even started. We'll see whether those naggy adults (AKA parents and various teachers) were right about studying = good grades. With the exception of English (which I revise everyday, by reading nonsense) I get whatever "good" results by luck and some frenzied studying on the day of the exam. Needless to say, they aren't very pretty grades. Sigh...... so much for going to college.
Thinking about college makes me feel depressed. Heck, thinking about the future in general makes me depressed! And scared. The products of my cynical and paranoid mind I suppose. I suspect it has more to do with my self-image issues and lack of confidence. I don't know what other people see but when I look like myself I see a pimply, small-eyed girl, who is getting fat and can't be independent to save her life! My rational mind (which is rather vocal but gets shot down anyway) says that I'll find a way to survive somehow, but angsty teenage part says "Survival of the fittest! You're not good enough, ya' big loser".
Luckily, I have other things to channel my pessimism for now. Apparently my school is gonna have a Malaysia Day as this year's school project. Last year was Pesta Ria (Canteen Day), the year before was a ballet concert. This year has got to be the most not fun. Its gonna be a lot of hassle and nothing we're gonna pay to see in the first place. Oh well, that's why we have popular people (or is it gang? They are kinda snobby)! They're gonna do all the work. Obviously since they are the leaders and super amazing people who can afford to take on a 100 different projects and clubs while still getting fantastic grades!
Phew, I'm dizzy from just thinking about it. Commoners like me can't afford to do all that because seriously?! I'm dumb and irresponsible enough to screw it up. Badly. So as in government, the King/Principal decrees some new "project for improvement"; the officials/popular people happily hop to it; the overworked staff/ my poor teachers grumble and persevere; the commoners ignore it, obey when they have to, attend when told and continue with their life. A minor ripple in their placid lives.
And I am not writing that assignment our beloved Principal gave us. She wants us to try and post it in the Star pull-out thing one of our girls got selected for. Something about a platform for airing our views. Hello buddy, my views are politically incorrect, full of complaints and brutally (and I mean brutal) honest observations. I can't toe the line of your sunshiny, "lets be cheerful" image projection for the school. Yeah, I have a bad attitude. Cheer up, I am not gonna air it out. Which is why I am NOT writing anything! Oh what the heck, I'll write it now.
See? I did it! Now don't say I didn't do my homework. Kekekekeke..........
So I procrastinate, what else is new? The main push for today's post is the end of three days of exams, all of which I don't think I did very well. Then again, this is what I do during exams:
 |
| Hetalia makes history....different. |
 | |
| Pfft.... more comments on anthropomorphic nations. Oh, Hetalia..... |
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| Good ole' hair curls. Do you know their owners? |
Other than this, my life has been pretty boring. Though I have to say, I like being able to sleep now. Believe it or not I actually attempted to study and not give it up as a lost cause before the exams even started. We'll see whether those naggy adults (AKA parents and various teachers) were right about studying = good grades. With the exception of English (which I revise everyday, by reading nonsense) I get whatever "good" results by luck and some frenzied studying on the day of the exam. Needless to say, they aren't very pretty grades. Sigh...... so much for going to college.
Thinking about college makes me feel depressed. Heck, thinking about the future in general makes me depressed! And scared. The products of my cynical and paranoid mind I suppose. I suspect it has more to do with my self-image issues and lack of confidence. I don't know what other people see but when I look like myself I see a pimply, small-eyed girl, who is getting fat and can't be independent to save her life! My rational mind (which is rather vocal but gets shot down anyway) says that I'll find a way to survive somehow, but angsty teenage part says "Survival of the fittest! You're not good enough, ya' big loser".
Luckily, I have other things to channel my pessimism for now. Apparently my school is gonna have a Malaysia Day as this year's school project. Last year was Pesta Ria (Canteen Day), the year before was a ballet concert. This year has got to be the most not fun. Its gonna be a lot of hassle and nothing we're gonna pay to see in the first place. Oh well, that's why we have popular people (or is it gang? They are kinda snobby)! They're gonna do all the work. Obviously since they are the leaders and super amazing people who can afford to take on a 100 different projects and clubs while still getting fantastic grades!
Phew, I'm dizzy from just thinking about it. Commoners like me can't afford to do all that because seriously?! I'm dumb and irresponsible enough to screw it up. Badly. So as in government, the King/Principal decrees some new "project for improvement"; the officials/popular people happily hop to it; the overworked staff/ my poor teachers grumble and persevere; the commoners ignore it, obey when they have to, attend when told and continue with their life. A minor ripple in their placid lives.
And I am not writing that assignment our beloved Principal gave us. She wants us to try and post it in the Star pull-out thing one of our girls got selected for. Something about a platform for airing our views. Hello buddy, my views are politically incorrect, full of complaints and brutally (and I mean brutal) honest observations. I can't toe the line of your sunshiny, "lets be cheerful" image projection for the school. Yeah, I have a bad attitude. Cheer up, I am not gonna air it out. Which is why I am NOT writing anything! Oh what the heck, I'll write it now.
My First Three Months at School
By Ic-chan
By Ic-chan
A complete nightmare.
See? I did it! Now don't say I didn't do my homework. Kekekekeke..........
Monday, February 14, 2011
Damn...... this is considered picking a fight right? Eep!
Oh dear, its been almost two months hasn't it? But school started and I procrastinated even though I've had computer access all along. Looks like I got off a kick.
The only reason I'm writing now is because Mi-chan asked nicely, and because I'm dreadfully flattered by her latest blog post. *blush* Mi-chan, I enjoy bickering with you too. If I can't bicker with someone, my sarcastic personality couldn't shine through and where would be the fun in that? Yeah, I antagonize people in real life, especially guys, because I'm dreadfully out of practice with interacting with the male gender, but that's another story for another day.
Writing this, I find that I have many things to say, indeed there were many things I planned to write, but now...... I can't decide what to write first! Uh....... the questions thing on Mi-chan's blog (yes, I know you were enjoying yourself mocking us, I'm not gonna kill you for this) Well, let me pretend I"m Dr Laura and answer him:
And.....that......was a completely unacceptable answer. I could get killed or a lawsuit at the very least for that kind of answer. Thankfully, person in question didn't ask me or I'd have bitch-slapped him into the next century. At least there will be no words that can be used against me.
What I find appalling is the laws that nobody (possibly) follows but he apparently does. Get with the times! Some laws were written as safeguard because peoples hearts are crooked. If following the customs of that time, the results will be outright inhumane! Oh, and for another thing, the sacrifice has been abolished, because Jesus became the ultimate sacrifice.
Ugghhh..... I'm beginning to suspect the questioner follows some other religion which he has mistaken for Christianity. If thats the case then he is perfectly justified for asking questions most Christians would facepalm at. Sigh..........I'm sure someone will accept him and his beliefs. Its a free world, there are all sorts of things you can believe in.
Wait a sec...... I shouldn't be caring so much! Must get restraining order against idiot brain.
Now I think I've stepped on enough sensitivities and I really should stop here. Comments button is down there. Just don't let anything escalate into cyber-bullying. Its fine to say your opinion, just don't stoop down to hurling insults. What do you want to prove? You're as unable to accept opinions as someone else? Eep! Better shut up pronto. Idon'twannadieIdon'twannadieIdon'twannadie...........
The only reason I'm writing now is because Mi-chan asked nicely, and because I'm dreadfully flattered by her latest blog post. *blush* Mi-chan, I enjoy bickering with you too. If I can't bicker with someone, my sarcastic personality couldn't shine through and where would be the fun in that? Yeah, I antagonize people in real life, especially guys, because I'm dreadfully out of practice with interacting with the male gender, but that's another story for another day.
Writing this, I find that I have many things to say, indeed there were many things I planned to write, but now...... I can't decide what to write first! Uh....... the questions thing on Mi-chan's blog (yes, I know you were enjoying yourself mocking us, I'm not gonna kill you for this) Well, let me pretend I"m Dr Laura and answer him:
I am not entirely certain on what religion you profess to follow but do find your nearest bible based church and get the BASIC theology straightened out. It saddens me to see someone who says they follow Jesus and yet completely dismiss his sacrifice. He came to fulfill the law and when something is fulfilled it means it is DONE. May God bless you and may you find the answers you seek.
And.....that......was a completely unacceptable answer. I could get killed or a lawsuit at the very least for that kind of answer. Thankfully, person in question didn't ask me or I'd have bitch-slapped him into the next century. At least there will be no words that can be used against me.
What I find appalling is the laws that nobody (possibly) follows but he apparently does. Get with the times! Some laws were written as safeguard because peoples hearts are crooked. If following the customs of that time, the results will be outright inhumane! Oh, and for another thing, the sacrifice has been abolished, because Jesus became the ultimate sacrifice.
Ugghhh..... I'm beginning to suspect the questioner follows some other religion which he has mistaken for Christianity. If thats the case then he is perfectly justified for asking questions most Christians would facepalm at. Sigh..........I'm sure someone will accept him and his beliefs. Its a free world, there are all sorts of things you can believe in.
Wait a sec...... I shouldn't be caring so much! Must get restraining order against idiot brain.
Now I think I've stepped on enough sensitivities and I really should stop here. Comments button is down there. Just don't let anything escalate into cyber-bullying. Its fine to say your opinion, just don't stoop down to hurling insults. What do you want to prove? You're as unable to accept opinions as someone else? Eep! Better shut up pronto. Idon'twannadieIdon'twannadieIdon'twannadie...........
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Three cheers for Hetalia!
I'm so happy that I couldn't resist writing! Ah, Hetalia: Paint It White was shown just now at around 9am! Italy!!!!!!!!!
If you know Hetalia, you'd know it is about countries personified as their national stereotypes. Granted, it might offend people (which is why we didn't get to see S. Korea in all his awesomeness) but if your sense of humour is anything like mine, you'll like it. The plot isn't much, faceless aliens invade our world and steal the colours on Earth. Yeah, sounds like one of America's B-grade movies gone wrong. Personally, I think it should be called Hetalia: Break The Fourth Wall To Smithereens, because really, stealing colours and the faces of people?
Interspersed with the alien invasion plot are clips from the series proper and I loved those the most! A pity that they didn't translate the notes about the intended France-UK union due to the Suez crisis. It'd explain why France was forcing Britain to marry him...... and teach Malaysian's more world history than their textbooks. I'll add it here, because I can.
The only "world" history we learn is about the rise of Islamic empires. Not that I have anything against that, the Ottoman Empire is just AWESOME! But why in the world would I want to know about the spread of Islam in Malaysia?
I think the Malay dub voices were ok. Which came as a surprise to me as I usually don't like (read: absolutely hate) dub voices. The only ones I didn't like were Liechtenstein, Prussia, Lithuania, Estonia and Latvia. Thankfully, they were only side characters. I think the rest of the cast did decent jobs, though I must state my love for America, England, France, Hungary, Austria and Canada's voice actor, especially Canada! But then again, I'm biased.
Now for the screw ups, China's voice actor is good except that he got a female voice actor. Yeah, She's a Man in Japan, thank you tvtropes. And Hungary got Austria's name wrong. She called him Australia *facepalm. Though I'm pretty sure there was a strip about people getting Austria's name wrong somewhere. Um..... look through here? What surprises me is that Germany got it correct. Wasn't Hungary considered married to Austria in the time of the Austro-Hungarian Empire? Its rather strange if your ex-wife can't get your name right.
Despite all that, I am still incredibly happy!!!! Hetalia on national television, yeah!!!!!!!! Oh, has anyone seen the character design for the Principality of Wy? She's just so adorable!!! And I like her going all huffy at Sealand, just because she's recognized. Still, whysoadorableWyandSeborga~ <3 Hetalia will make me a history nerd, its evil in that way.
If you know Hetalia, you'd know it is about countries personified as their national stereotypes. Granted, it might offend people (which is why we didn't get to see S. Korea in all his awesomeness) but if your sense of humour is anything like mine, you'll like it. The plot isn't much, faceless aliens invade our world and steal the colours on Earth. Yeah, sounds like one of America's B-grade movies gone wrong. Personally, I think it should be called Hetalia: Break The Fourth Wall To Smithereens, because really, stealing colours and the faces of people?
Interspersed with the alien invasion plot are clips from the series proper and I loved those the most! A pity that they didn't translate the notes about the intended France-UK union due to the Suez crisis. It'd explain why France was forcing Britain to marry him...... and teach Malaysian's more world history than their textbooks. I'll add it here, because I can.
In September 1956, during the Suez Crisis due to a common foe an Anglo-French Task Force was created. French Prime Minister Guy Mollet proposed a union between the United Kingdom and the French Union with Elizabeth II as head of state and a common citizenship. As an alternative, Mollet proposed that France join the British Commonwealth of Nations. British Prime Minister Anthony Eden rejected both proposals and France went on to join the Treaty of Rome, which established the European Economic Community and strengthened the Franco-German cooperation.
The only "world" history we learn is about the rise of Islamic empires. Not that I have anything against that, the Ottoman Empire is just AWESOME! But why in the world would I want to know about the spread of Islam in Malaysia?
I think the Malay dub voices were ok. Which came as a surprise to me as I usually don't like (read: absolutely hate) dub voices. The only ones I didn't like were Liechtenstein, Prussia, Lithuania, Estonia and Latvia. Thankfully, they were only side characters. I think the rest of the cast did decent jobs, though I must state my love for America, England, France, Hungary, Austria and Canada's voice actor, especially Canada! But then again, I'm biased.
Now for the screw ups, China's voice actor is good except that he got a female voice actor. Yeah, She's a Man in Japan, thank you tvtropes. And Hungary got Austria's name wrong. She called him Australia *facepalm. Though I'm pretty sure there was a strip about people getting Austria's name wrong somewhere. Um..... look through here? What surprises me is that Germany got it correct. Wasn't Hungary considered married to Austria in the time of the Austro-Hungarian Empire? Its rather strange if your ex-wife can't get your name right.
Despite all that, I am still incredibly happy!!!! Hetalia on national television, yeah!!!!!!!! Oh, has anyone seen the character design for the Principality of Wy? She's just so adorable!!! And I like her going all huffy at Sealand, just because she's recognized. Still, whysoadorableWyandSeborga~ <3 Hetalia will make me a history nerd, its evil in that way.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Why do I do this to myself?!
Oh crap, history just makes you tear up, when done properly. To comfort myself for having missed the movie and having to go to school soon, I dabbled in the world of Hetalia. Let's just say there are things I have to remember from now on about Hetalia fanworks.
I guess I'll just stick to the webcomic and the anime episodes. They're usually funny enough and a great thing to relax with. As long as I stay away from the rare sad strips *cough Bloody Sunday *cough. It amazes me actually, how every country can inspire such darker and edgier work. I guess there is just no country in the world who has completely no blood on their hands. Ack! No reading Zikaron, I'll have to remember that too. Even if its just so good, and chilling...... Why do I do this to myself?!?!
- Don't go looking for Lithuania/Belarus stuff
- I will feel despair from the small amount of fanwork available
- And if I do manage to find it, I am going to feel really bad for Lithuania
- Belarus will make me feel bad for her too, because she is too damn obsessed with Russia
- Refrain from reading "America's cleaning of the storeroom" strip too much
- Or watching that particular clip on youtube
- Because I will start tearing up
- Even if its just the dub
- Don't read anything that has to do with the dissolution of Prussia
- Hetalia will cause me to be unreasonably attached to his awesomeness
- And I will start bawling
- Which means I must not read "Choking" and "20 Photographs"
- Or watch the "CROSS" video on youtube
- Because tears will fall
- Keep a box of Kleenex within reach if I insist on torturing myself
- I must keep a box of Kleenex within reach
I guess I'll just stick to the webcomic and the anime episodes. They're usually funny enough and a great thing to relax with. As long as I stay away from the rare sad strips *cough Bloody Sunday *cough. It amazes me actually, how every country can inspire such darker and edgier work. I guess there is just no country in the world who has completely no blood on their hands. Ack! No reading Zikaron, I'll have to remember that too. Even if its just so good, and chilling...... Why do I do this to myself?!?!
Monday, December 27, 2010
Lets update before school starts!
I figured I should do one of those random posts where I just write what I've been doing lately to satisfy some juvenile urge to reveal all. So nothing will make sense, there will be no theme, nothing will be coherent and topics will jump around for no rhyme or reason. Hmmm..... this could be fun.
I'm sitting at home, with laryngitis. It sucks to speak in a ridiculously hoarse voice and I have resorted to sign language in public, just to annoy my family. Though they're probably glad that I'm quiet, goodness knows how high I raise the decibel levels in the house. I hate not being able to sing, I've never gone so long without singing before. It's awful!
There's a Barbie and Twelve dancing princesses fanfic that I want to update but my plot bunnies aren't translating well on paper... or on my word processor. I'm not sure I want to write about each princess in turn or just write random one-shots. It's a problem..... Gah!
I don't know where to go after Form 5. Should I take Cambridge A levels? South Australian Matriculation? Foundation? Do they even have a Foundation Course for those who want to take medicine? Damn! Why in the world does Malaysian education stop at 17?! And I am not considering Form 6 because it is 2 years and it's longer then all the other courses. Ugghh...... and the icing on the cake is that university costs and arm and a leg. I am so SCREWED!!!!!!!
I've been seeing High School Musical a lot lately. My brother downloaded all three of 'em and we've been watching. I think the songs are nice, but my music preferences are rather varied anyway. Also helps that I'm a teen. Watching all 3 of them rekindled my liking for the Ryan/Kelsi pairing. What can I say, when everyone out there was screaming that "NO! Ryan should have been gay!" I was happily squeeing away. I have a penchant for minor and unusual pairings (Ryan is campy so this IS unusual). It helps that I find Olesya Rulin cute as Kelsi Neilsen and I saw HSM 3 before HSM 2 therefore missing out on the Chad, Ryan baseball game. Not that I don't agree with the folks on tv tropes that it was a rather...... fangirl squeeing moment? But, everyone has their preferences *shrugs. At least Ryelsi (portmanteau couple name, hehe.....) has a decent sized fan following. I've practically been devouring fanfiction on them these couple of days. No real person fics though, to me they are kinda like you're trying to tell actual people how to run their lives and it gets disturbing.
Speaking about campy, the other campy guy that I like is Ruby from Pokemon Special. He's just so interesting! Not to mention that his interactions with Sapphire are just so hilarious!! She is a wild child with complete disregard for social norms. He is a prissy guy who has more interest in making sure his Pokemon are pretty. She doesn't mind getting poop on her nose and goes around in a grass bikini with matching skirt. He can't stand even a little dirt on his clothes and he sews. I am a total sadist for wanting them to be together when they are older. Ehehehe........ it goes right up there next to Lithuania/Belarus. Yeah, yeah I'm a hypocrite but somehow Hetalia makes everything justifiable. And when exactly is the Hetalia: Paint It White movie showing in Malaysia. 8th December or 29th December?
I don't want to go back to school. I am dreading it with all my heart! I've been going online almost everyday for the past month and a half and have yet to be bored. Sleeping late, waking up late, access to the internet (endless entertainment), can you blame me for not wanting to go back to a routine of homework and co-curricular activities and tuition. Besides, Mi-chan and Chi-chan wouldn't be there now that they've graduated. I'll miss eating lunch with Mi-chan...... TT^TT It's my last year in secondary school and I just feel like time is going so fast. Oops! Did I just reveal my age? Oh pooey.......
Do I have to write and ending? I don't wanna write an ending! How do you write an ending for a piece that has no rhyme or reason for anything that is written. I hate endings. Everything should go on and on and on. Pfft.... open endings are awesome, except for in books. Then they just drive you mad with the "what ifs". Urh... I'll be shutting up now.
I'm sitting at home, with laryngitis. It sucks to speak in a ridiculously hoarse voice and I have resorted to sign language in public, just to annoy my family. Though they're probably glad that I'm quiet, goodness knows how high I raise the decibel levels in the house. I hate not being able to sing, I've never gone so long without singing before. It's awful!
There's a Barbie and Twelve dancing princesses fanfic that I want to update but my plot bunnies aren't translating well on paper... or on my word processor. I'm not sure I want to write about each princess in turn or just write random one-shots. It's a problem..... Gah!
I don't know where to go after Form 5. Should I take Cambridge A levels? South Australian Matriculation? Foundation? Do they even have a Foundation Course for those who want to take medicine? Damn! Why in the world does Malaysian education stop at 17?! And I am not considering Form 6 because it is 2 years and it's longer then all the other courses. Ugghh...... and the icing on the cake is that university costs and arm and a leg. I am so SCREWED!!!!!!!
I've been seeing High School Musical a lot lately. My brother downloaded all three of 'em and we've been watching. I think the songs are nice, but my music preferences are rather varied anyway. Also helps that I'm a teen. Watching all 3 of them rekindled my liking for the Ryan/Kelsi pairing. What can I say, when everyone out there was screaming that "NO! Ryan should have been gay!" I was happily squeeing away. I have a penchant for minor and unusual pairings (Ryan is campy so this IS unusual). It helps that I find Olesya Rulin cute as Kelsi Neilsen and I saw HSM 3 before HSM 2 therefore missing out on the Chad, Ryan baseball game. Not that I don't agree with the folks on tv tropes that it was a rather...... fangirl squeeing moment? But, everyone has their preferences *shrugs. At least Ryelsi (portmanteau couple name, hehe.....) has a decent sized fan following. I've practically been devouring fanfiction on them these couple of days. No real person fics though, to me they are kinda like you're trying to tell actual people how to run their lives and it gets disturbing.
Speaking about campy, the other campy guy that I like is Ruby from Pokemon Special. He's just so interesting! Not to mention that his interactions with Sapphire are just so hilarious!! She is a wild child with complete disregard for social norms. He is a prissy guy who has more interest in making sure his Pokemon are pretty. She doesn't mind getting poop on her nose and goes around in a grass bikini with matching skirt. He can't stand even a little dirt on his clothes and he sews. I am a total sadist for wanting them to be together when they are older. Ehehehe........ it goes right up there next to Lithuania/Belarus. Yeah, yeah I'm a hypocrite but somehow Hetalia makes everything justifiable. And when exactly is the Hetalia: Paint It White movie showing in Malaysia. 8th December or 29th December?
I don't want to go back to school. I am dreading it with all my heart! I've been going online almost everyday for the past month and a half and have yet to be bored. Sleeping late, waking up late, access to the internet (endless entertainment), can you blame me for not wanting to go back to a routine of homework and co-curricular activities and tuition. Besides, Mi-chan and Chi-chan wouldn't be there now that they've graduated. I'll miss eating lunch with Mi-chan...... TT^TT It's my last year in secondary school and I just feel like time is going so fast. Oops! Did I just reveal my age? Oh pooey.......
Do I have to write and ending? I don't wanna write an ending! How do you write an ending for a piece that has no rhyme or reason for anything that is written. I hate endings. Everything should go on and on and on. Pfft.... open endings are awesome, except for in books. Then they just drive you mad with the "what ifs". Urh... I'll be shutting up now.
Monday, December 13, 2010
I like stuff others don't know/don't like
This makes me totally frustrated because there is no fan material on the pairings or characters I like! I can't write them by myself, I often don't have any ideas and I prefer reading about them, discovering new insights on them through someone else's eyes but damn it because my pairings/characters are obscure/rarely known/unloved/side characters!!!!! They get no love. Except NejiXHinata, I'm so glad that Japan doesn't mind cousin marriages.
Now before anybody accuses me of being a sicko (all you yaoi fangirls out there are sickos in someone else's eyes too), might I add that in my culture its perfectly alright to marry cousins. Yes, even your father's brother's children. Yes, there are people who do marry their cousins. As a result, I really have no qualms about this, so it amuses me to see comments like "Incest! Eww......" and "Won't they have mutated babies?". It doesn't amuse me to see comments like "Neji and Hinata wouldn't do that! Neji belongs to Tenten and Hinata to Naruto/anyone else! You should go to hell for writing this!!!!!"
In a fandom as big as Naruto's, you kiddies should learn to respect others preferences and just plain don't read a fic that doesn't agree with you. The right to not read is a basic readers right. Besides, the sooner you learn tolerance without compromising your own beliefs the sooner you will be on your way to a decent adult. To make it clear, I don't mean that you condone it and sacrifice your beliefs. Everyone has their own beliefs and opinions and if you respect that people are more likely to respect yours. Yeah I'm a digressing hypocrite but this is only a suggestion. You don't have to take it.
I really want it but I can't seem to find the official Malay translation anymore. The truth is I really want to see the 2nd story, That Sweet Organ Song, again. I borrowed it from a friend a long time ago and the story was so good that it stuck in my mind. So I want it! And I will buy it, even if my miser image cracks a bit.
That Sweet Organ Song is a period piece set in the 1920s between a the son of a rich merchant, Shotaro and a girl who works in a bookstore, Setsu. Setsu wants to be a teacher, despite the fact that poverty has stopped her from continuing her education and Shotaro wants to be a composer, even if he is the only heir to his father's business. The story builds up their relationship nicely and the bittersweet ending caught me by surprise! I really thought it would be one of those "love conquers all stories" where the protagonists will be poor but happy and everyone lives happily ever after. Not a chance. Which is why I love it so, because the ending makes it so memorable. When Setsu, now an old woman, hears Shotaro's song being played on tv, I was so touched. She got her wish to be a witness when Shotaro's song was passed on to the future generation!
Gah, the bloody problem is that very few people have read it and I can find little to no information on it! Nobody can tell me where I can buy it in my area and nobody writes their opinion on it either, something I like to read too. Sigh, my poor under-appreciated interests.
Now before anybody accuses me of being a sicko (all you yaoi fangirls out there are sickos in someone else's eyes too), might I add that in my culture its perfectly alright to marry cousins. Yes, even your father's brother's children. Yes, there are people who do marry their cousins. As a result, I really have no qualms about this, so it amuses me to see comments like "Incest! Eww......" and "Won't they have mutated babies?". It doesn't amuse me to see comments like "Neji and Hinata wouldn't do that! Neji belongs to Tenten and Hinata to Naruto/anyone else! You should go to hell for writing this!!!!!"
In a fandom as big as Naruto's, you kiddies should learn to respect others preferences and just plain don't read a fic that doesn't agree with you. The right to not read is a basic readers right. Besides, the sooner you learn tolerance without compromising your own beliefs the sooner you will be on your way to a decent adult. To make it clear, I don't mean that you condone it and sacrifice your beliefs. Everyone has their own beliefs and opinions and if you respect that people are more likely to respect yours. Yeah I'm a digressing hypocrite but this is only a suggestion. You don't have to take it.
It seems like my tendency for obscurity is going into manga. For instance has anyone seen this:
That Sweet Organ Song is a period piece set in the 1920s between a the son of a rich merchant, Shotaro and a girl who works in a bookstore, Setsu. Setsu wants to be a teacher, despite the fact that poverty has stopped her from continuing her education and Shotaro wants to be a composer, even if he is the only heir to his father's business. The story builds up their relationship nicely and the bittersweet ending caught me by surprise! I really thought it would be one of those "love conquers all stories" where the protagonists will be poor but happy and everyone lives happily ever after. Not a chance. Which is why I love it so, because the ending makes it so memorable. When Setsu, now an old woman, hears Shotaro's song being played on tv, I was so touched. She got her wish to be a witness when Shotaro's song was passed on to the future generation!
Gah, the bloody problem is that very few people have read it and I can find little to no information on it! Nobody can tell me where I can buy it in my area and nobody writes their opinion on it either, something I like to read too. Sigh, my poor under-appreciated interests.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
I've been crying more than usual, I wonder why.......
So I've been reading stuff that made me cry lately (but that was obvious), too touching/sad and whatever other reasons that make my over sensitive tear ducts work overtime. Yeah, I cry easily.
First one would be Cat Street. It's a really sweet slice of life manga revolving around the life of 4 friends who study at the El Liston free school. I admit the art took some time to get used to, but I fell in love with the story so it ceased to matter after some time.
First one would be Cat Street. It's a really sweet slice of life manga revolving around the life of 4 friends who study at the El Liston free school. I admit the art took some time to get used to, but I fell in love with the story so it ceased to matter after some time.
Aoyama Keito was a child actress who, after embarassing herself during a stage performance, lives the life of a recluse for 7 years. Bizarre and a rather flimsy plot excuse because we've all embarassed ourselves and not wanted to face the world afterward yet we still do. Then again Keito's stubbornness and her lack of knowledge concerning social conventions, due to being busy working during her childhood, could make this poor excuse stretch.
Despite that, this story has got to be one of those stories that touch the heart. It is one of those slow, peaceful stories that really shows its characters growth, so its not for those searching for an action packed or even a romantic story. There is romance, it is a shoujo manga after all (by the author of Hana Yori Dango no less), but the highlight to me was Keito coming out of her shell. I was so invested in Keito's growth, in her change from that lifeless, anti-social girl into a confident , mature and talented actress. I was just touched...... and ridiculously happy to see her change. I cried tears of happiness here.
The other story was Anatolia Story/ Red River/ Sora wa Akai Kawa no Hotori. The truth is, I really have no patience with this story. Its your typical run of the mill, girl from the future ends up in the past/alternate world story and all the other tropes that you would associate with it, with added smut. Granted, I'm a bit biased since Fushigi Yuugi Genbu Kaiden upped the standard for me. My pace through it is laughably slow, 18 chapters in 3-4 days! That's longer than I took with Cat Street or even Sailor Moon. Its not a bad story per se, I like it more than Fushigi Yuugi (its redeeming point was bishies and nice art.....and being a pioneer of the reverse harem, you gotta give it credit for daring to do that), its just that it is a bit old and other people have copied most of its ideas. Also I have come to a stage in my life where romance stories are beginning to seem cliche.
To tell you the truth the only reason I'm sticking to it is to get to the Ramses part, whom the fandom seems to consider hot stuff (well I am in search of bishies) and the villains' love story. Somebody said it was the most poignant romance they'd read. Yes, Nakia is horrible, they are pure evulz but the way an author handles the bad guys is a mark of how good their storytelling ability is to me. Ok, I also can enjoy stories where the bad guys are evil just because they are such deprave individuals, so I can hate their guts out. Yul's mother in Goong is an example. I respect her cunning though.
Why did I cry over this? I cheated and jumped straight to Urhi's past. The poor guy has been through so much! I cried because of how much of a waste it was and well, I pitied them terribly. And Nakia, what was her story? The manga doesn't really address that I think, I don't know, I haven't finish. How was she raised? I'm intrigued by her background, I want to know her reasons. Was the Babylonian court as dangerous and deceitful as the Chinese court? If yes, then I can come up with dozens of theories and possible scenarios that can shape Nakia into who she became. For instance, did Nakia grow up among jealous court women who poisoned each other and caused miscarriages to prevent someone from gaining favour?
Last thing is a Narnia fanfiction about Susan. I'd wondered why she wasn't with the Pevensies at the end in Aslan's country just because of lipsticks and nylons. Then I realized that I'd been somewhat influenced by a publication I read and on closer inspection of the story I found out it wasn't solely because of that. This fanfic addresses that issue perfectly and is such a heartwarming story. Susan's redemption is done beautifully and I really recommend it for all those who had wished that Susan had gotten a better ending. The author deals with the Christian symbolism tastefully and it meshes well with the story without seeming too heavy handed. Don't believe me? Read it for yourself, yeah, its that good. http://honorh.livejournal.com/226358.html
Sunday, November 28, 2010
I don't know what to call this piece, neither do I know what it is
My child, my child,
Don't cry, don't cry.
My child, my child,
Don't fret, don't sigh.
Your dreams have fallen apart
And you are burying them tonight.
However, life goes on
And there is nothing you can do
But soldier on.
Do not despair,
I have something to tell you.
There will be new dreams,
So you must at least try
To bring them to life.
Though some may die,
Do not let them be stillborn.
My child, my child,
Don't cry, don't cry.
My child, my child,
Don't fret, don't sigh.
Don't cry, don't cry.
My child, my child,
Don't fret, don't sigh.
Your dreams have fallen apart
And you are burying them tonight.
However, life goes on
And there is nothing you can do
But soldier on.
Do not despair,
I have something to tell you.
There will be new dreams,
So you must at least try
To bring them to life.
Though some may die,
Do not let them be stillborn.
My child, my child,
Don't cry, don't cry.
My child, my child,
Don't fret, don't sigh.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Little Women or let us go SQUEEEE
I got my book from scholastic today, yes, book, singular. Books are so expensive in Malaysia and the libraries in my small "city" or more appropriately, town are dreadfully lacking in the quality reading department. I couldn't even find Animal Farm! I tell you my school library is better stocked, but they lost their copy of Animal Farm (its an antique too!) and To Kill a Mockingbird. Sacrilege, I know, the very thought of a library losing books. Or with bare shelves whichever one is scarier to you. Yes, Ipoh libraries I am looking at you.
So back to the real topic, I finished The Mother-Daughter Book Club by Heather Vogel Frederick in class and I was so happy with all the Little Women references. Yes, I was so giddy and it helps that the characters are likable too. I adore Emma, am rooting for Jess, want to befriend Cassidy, and would like to see Megan continue to improve. Then the next book is about Anne of Green Gables!! Scholastic, please send the catalogue to my school ASAP!
I love Little Women, it's part of my childhood. I was rather sad that Laurie and Jo weren't together though I like Mr Bhaer well enough and feel that Amy has grown tremendously. I was absolutely heartbroken when Beth died but I cried when I read about how Jo coped with the death of her sister. To quote, "Poor Jo, those were dark days for her." Though don't take my word for it since my memory is lousy and I can't vouch for the accuracy of the quote. But then, we're not lawyers and there is no need to be that accurate. Its not like someone's life is hanging in the balance.
To tell you the truth, I've never seen the musical. I only stumbled on this by chance while surfing Youtube. It's sort of a community hall kinda thing but this is my favourite version. They're so sweet and I like the kite part. All sorts of symbolism without being melodramatic. Yes, I've seen various interpretations of this scene but this is my favourite. Oh, Beth............
Now to soften the blow and the disappointment when Jo rejected Laurie, take a look at this comparison of the proposal scene in the 1994 Little Women movie and the much older Anne of Avonlea movie. Apparently (and I stress it's only hearsay), LM Montgomery was inspired by Jo's rejection to write Anne's rejection of Gilbert's proposal! Thankfully, Anne accepted his second proposal or we would have no "Mrs Doctor Dear" and the world would be a poorer place indeed.
So back to the real topic, I finished The Mother-Daughter Book Club by Heather Vogel Frederick in class and I was so happy with all the Little Women references. Yes, I was so giddy and it helps that the characters are likable too. I adore Emma, am rooting for Jess, want to befriend Cassidy, and would like to see Megan continue to improve. Then the next book is about Anne of Green Gables!! Scholastic, please send the catalogue to my school ASAP!
I love Little Women, it's part of my childhood. I was rather sad that Laurie and Jo weren't together though I like Mr Bhaer well enough and feel that Amy has grown tremendously. I was absolutely heartbroken when Beth died but I cried when I read about how Jo coped with the death of her sister. To quote, "Poor Jo, those were dark days for her." Though don't take my word for it since my memory is lousy and I can't vouch for the accuracy of the quote. But then, we're not lawyers and there is no need to be that accurate. Its not like someone's life is hanging in the balance.
To tell you the truth, I've never seen the musical. I only stumbled on this by chance while surfing Youtube. It's sort of a community hall kinda thing but this is my favourite version. They're so sweet and I like the kite part. All sorts of symbolism without being melodramatic. Yes, I've seen various interpretations of this scene but this is my favourite. Oh, Beth............
Now to soften the blow and the disappointment when Jo rejected Laurie, take a look at this comparison of the proposal scene in the 1994 Little Women movie and the much older Anne of Avonlea movie. Apparently (and I stress it's only hearsay), LM Montgomery was inspired by Jo's rejection to write Anne's rejection of Gilbert's proposal! Thankfully, Anne accepted his second proposal or we would have no "Mrs Doctor Dear" and the world would be a poorer place indeed.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Remember what I said about romantic two girl friendships?
Play-acting at school, but........
Ic-chan: Me and KitMun are sisters. We both want 1 girl (JuLian).
Mariam: Oo...... *looks at Viniy* I don't understand.
All: *Laugh*
Ic-chan: Like this...... Me and KitMun are sisters, und?
JuLian: No no no... let me say, let me say. I'm KitMun's darling and KitMun's my honey. This two (Ic-chan and KitMun) are sisters. But, Ic-chan has a crush on me. See, I so diminati ramai!
Ic-chan: I'm the pihak ketiga you see.
Mariam: Oo...... So who with who ah?
JuLian: Me with KitMun......
Mariam: She (Ic-chan)?
Viniy: She's the pihak ketiga.
Mariam: Oo...... So...... you all lesbian larh?
All: *smash heads while laughing*
KitMun: Post this on facebook!
Viniy: Means like Suju couple lar.
JuLian: Yeah! Like Heechul and Hankyung! You are Heechul, Viniy's Hankyung.
Ic-chan: Yea lor, yea lor! Because Viniy know chinese.
JuLian: This (KitMun) is KyuHyun. That (Ic-chan) is Yesung.
Ic-chan: Then who are you?
JuLian: I'm Ryeowook of course!
KitMun: I don't even know what you are talking about?!
JuLian: Aiya, never mind lah!
Ic-chan: Eh......eh......! Does this mean we are Suju KRY?!
JuLian, Viniy: Yeah hor!
Ic-chan: *shakes head* So in the end, its JuLian bercurang with me.
Viniy: Poor KitMun.
KitMun: Yeah lor. *pretends to be sad* But I lebih bersalah because I always bercurang with other guys.
JuLian: See I so mulia. But then I more "geng" then you, I bercurang with 13 guys!
Viniy: Oh......? Ah, me also!
JuLian: You more than that!
Viniy: ......? Yeah hor!
KitMun: What lah you all......
This group of people...... don't know what is going on in their minds lah!
Note: To the people who know us in real life. Please don't put names or any other indication of the real identities of the speakers if you intend to comment. This is the internet and I'd prefer to be safe than sorry.
Ic-chan: Me and KitMun are sisters. We both want 1 girl (JuLian).
Mariam: Oo...... *looks at Viniy* I don't understand.
All: *Laugh*
Ic-chan: Like this...... Me and KitMun are sisters, und?
JuLian: No no no... let me say, let me say. I'm KitMun's darling and KitMun's my honey. This two (Ic-chan and KitMun) are sisters. But, Ic-chan has a crush on me. See, I so diminati ramai!
Ic-chan: I'm the pihak ketiga you see.
Mariam: Oo...... So who with who ah?
JuLian: Me with KitMun......
Mariam: She (Ic-chan)?
Viniy: She's the pihak ketiga.
Mariam: Oo...... So...... you all lesbian larh?
All: *smash heads while laughing*
KitMun: Post this on facebook!
Viniy: Means like Suju couple lar.
JuLian: Yeah! Like Heechul and Hankyung! You are Heechul, Viniy's Hankyung.
Ic-chan: Yea lor, yea lor! Because Viniy know chinese.
JuLian: This (KitMun) is KyuHyun. That (Ic-chan) is Yesung.
Ic-chan: Then who are you?
JuLian: I'm Ryeowook of course!
KitMun: I don't even know what you are talking about?!
JuLian: Aiya, never mind lah!
Ic-chan: Eh......eh......! Does this mean we are Suju KRY?!
JuLian, Viniy: Yeah hor!
Ic-chan: *shakes head* So in the end, its JuLian bercurang with me.
Viniy: Poor KitMun.
KitMun: Yeah lor. *pretends to be sad* But I lebih bersalah because I always bercurang with other guys.
JuLian: See I so mulia. But then I more "geng" then you, I bercurang with 13 guys!
Viniy: Oh......? Ah, me also!
JuLian: You more than that!
Viniy: ......? Yeah hor!
KitMun: What lah you all......
This group of people...... don't know what is going on in their minds lah!
Note: To the people who know us in real life. Please don't put names or any other indication of the real identities of the speakers if you intend to comment. This is the internet and I'd prefer to be safe than sorry.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Who wants to be a missionary?
Maranatha! What brought this on? Just a little something I found in the newspaper, that's all. Maranatha is now my "word" of the day. Hehe.....
I've been hearing some rather interesting views lately, especially the new (all right its new only to me) concept of "reverse missionaries". Essentially, it means that people from countries which are traditionally regarded as non-Christian/pagan will go to countries that used to send missionaries. Imagine, Asian and African missionaries spreading the gospel to America and Europe! That thought somehow makes me giddy.
Anybody can tell that so-called Christian nations are in fact increasingly reverting back to paganism, while in other parts of the world the reverse is increasingly becoming true. In one article I read (accuracy needs to be confirmed), there are more Christians in Africa than in America and Europe combined!
Yet, there are still some who in their arrogance and ignorance assume that things are as they were. Christianity has never been a western religion. It did not originate there but in the Middle East. Now, it is going back there, going full circle, and taking others that were not reached with it.
So, who wants to go to North America and Europe as missionaries? Be warned that you will face prosecution. Yet, consider it as doing them a favour. Once they brought the gospel to you, now you will take it back to them.
PS: Remember also the minority groups in China. They still need translations of the Bible in their own languages.
I've been hearing some rather interesting views lately, especially the new (all right its new only to me) concept of "reverse missionaries". Essentially, it means that people from countries which are traditionally regarded as non-Christian/pagan will go to countries that used to send missionaries. Imagine, Asian and African missionaries spreading the gospel to America and Europe! That thought somehow makes me giddy.
Anybody can tell that so-called Christian nations are in fact increasingly reverting back to paganism, while in other parts of the world the reverse is increasingly becoming true. In one article I read (accuracy needs to be confirmed), there are more Christians in Africa than in America and Europe combined!
Yet, there are still some who in their arrogance and ignorance assume that things are as they were. Christianity has never been a western religion. It did not originate there but in the Middle East. Now, it is going back there, going full circle, and taking others that were not reached with it.
So, who wants to go to North America and Europe as missionaries? Be warned that you will face prosecution. Yet, consider it as doing them a favour. Once they brought the gospel to you, now you will take it back to them.
PS: Remember also the minority groups in China. They still need translations of the Bible in their own languages.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Cartoons cartoons cartoons!
Today Ic-chan would like to talk about some of Ic-chan's all time favourite, you got it, cartoons. Ic-chan wonders what gave that away?
By cartoons, I really mean western animated movies. Japanese anime deserves it's own post because of the sheer length that post will be.
Does 3D movies count though?
Ic-chan is not going to list the cartoons in any order, it'll be as random as you can get. So without further ado, lets roll!
1. Sleeping Beauty
2. Princess and the Frog
3. Lion King
4. The Swan Princess
5. Mulan
A Chinese heroine who kicks butt! Not to mention Ic-chan had a crush on Captain Shang at the time. Mushu though, really stole the spotlight for me. The clincher was the song Reflection.
6. Cinderella
Ic-chan thinks that this post is long enough already and will not do 4 more to complete a top 10 list, but then this isn't even in order since Ic-chan only puts in whatever Ic-chan remembers. Ic-chan would place The Incredibles and Madagascar there if Ic-chan felt like tormenting you any longer.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Too much free time
I've been thinking lately about my friendships at school. The internet being now available to me from dawn to dusk opened my mind. It occurs to me that the way my friends and I behave around each other is not the same as in co-educational schools. We're quite affectionate with each other to the extend of jokingly calling each other "dear" and "honey". It also seems like we have a lot more physical contact. Sorry, yuri fans there is no kissing though.
This type of thing is apparently called Romantic friendship. Something quite common in England of old. To the point that when they write letters to each other it reads like a love letter. I've never done such a thing but I now suspect that the girls that write love letters to their seniors are actually having one of these instead of being actual lesbians. The Japanese call this Class S and it seems to be a fairly common phenomenon.
So you get a bunch of girls in an all girls school, making kissy faces and calling each other with terms of endearment. They hold hands and hug it each other whenever they feel like it. Mind you this is Asia where a person is supposed to act chaste. Do we qualify to star in a yuri manga?
This type of thing is apparently called Romantic friendship. Something quite common in England of old. To the point that when they write letters to each other it reads like a love letter. I've never done such a thing but I now suspect that the girls that write love letters to their seniors are actually having one of these instead of being actual lesbians. The Japanese call this Class S and it seems to be a fairly common phenomenon.
So you get a bunch of girls in an all girls school, making kissy faces and calling each other with terms of endearment. They hold hands and hug it each other whenever they feel like it. Mind you this is Asia where a person is supposed to act chaste. Do we qualify to star in a yuri manga?
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